Vanity Sanity

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Everyone has reasons for wanting to lose weight and be healthy, blah blah blah. And I think most are generic, like “I want to live longer, I don’t want to huff and puff up a flight of stairs” etc. I also think everyone has very specific reasons also and in my case, I always think more about those reasons than the “good” reasons to get healthy. That is, my very specific reasons for losing weight are mostly very vain and selfish, with a few healthy normal reasons scattered about. Overall though, I think I have mostly good reasons to lose weight….I’m not trying to do it for one big event, I’m not doing to please one particular person, I am doing it for a multitude of reasons, and if some are egotistical, I’m okay with that.

So I’ve broken up the main reasons into two groups – my “good” healthy sane reasons, and my vain selfish egotistical reasons.

Sanity:
1. My back – I would like my back to not ache so much, and not to spasms after standing for too long.

2. Disease – I don’t want to end up getting diabetes, heart disease, breast cancer, or another disease that can otherwise be avoided or can possibly be caused by obesity. I was so scared at my last dr’s appt that he would tell me I was pre-diabetic, I was so relieved to find out it wasn’t true. And if it’s something I can avoid, then why wouldn’t I? I also have mild sleep apnea, and that most likely will get worse if I don’t drop some poundage.

3. Food – I would like to have a healthy relationship with food. I don’t want to be an emotional eater. Also, I need to lower my cholesterol. I don’t want to have to take medication for it eventually, when again it’s something that can be avoided and helped if I just am smart about it.

4. My knees – my poor knees support all this weight and I think they are starting to protest. I get a few aches and twinges occasionally. I don’t want to have to get shots or get surgery in my knees in the future. Again, it’s avoidable!

5. Seating – this may seem more vain than healthy, but really, it’s not. Flying on a plane, sitting on the bus, in a movie theater – all can be quite uncomfortable not just for me but for the people next to me. Besides that, it is also embarrassing at times.

Vanity:
1. My ankles – I have the dreaded “cankles” where the ankle and calf meet, there is no distinction. And my ankles are usually swollen, which is very unattractive. I hate how my legs look so much, I am embarrassed by them and they make me feel ugly. And I hate feeling that way. I don’t dress the way I would like to, since I usually avoid dresses and skirts unless I can wear boots with them, because I can’t wear cute shoes. And with summer coming up, I am dreading it a little bit also.

2. Boots – it’s near impossible for me to find boots that actually fit my calves, so again, there are a multitude of outfits I can’t wear. And I like boots….it makes me sad and angry.

3. A bikini – I think I would absolutely love to feel comfortable in a bikini eventually. Will I have a perfect body? Most likely no, but I can certainly have a hot body that I might like to show off eventually.

4. Photo shoot – this might be the vainest of all…I’ve always wanted to do a sexy photo shoot, maybe that whole boudoir thing. I know I could do it now, but as much as I preach body acceptance and self esteem, I don’t know if I could actually enjoy it or appreciate the results.

5. Costumes – Superheroes, Star Wars characters, steampunk – all so cute and sexy, and I’d love to get myself into some hot little costume. And if happened to be for Halloween, even better!

6. Follow-thru – yes, I’d love to get healthy and lose weight just to prove to everyone (including myself) that I could do it.

7. Acrobatic – so many physical things I’d love to try, but don’t feel safe or comfortable trying it right now, including horseback riding and trapeze classes. Yes, that’s correct, I said trapeze!

8. Clothes – I love clothes, and it’s hard to find stuff sometimes. And I hate crying in the dressing rooms, it’s awkward. And it’s more expensive at times to buy “plus-size” clothes. Ridiculous!

9. Me– I deserve to be hot…or hotter, I will say. I’m not too shabby right now, there is only room for improvement.

So, although it looks like I have more vain reasons, I think the actual sane reasons outweigh the vain ones. They are more important. The vain ones are motivators too, and that’s okay. I am a sane healthy person who is vain at certain times, so my desires reflect that, and I’m okay with that.

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