How to friend it up


Because I don’t blog as often as I would like, I get a daily email with a new suggestion every day of what to write about. Most of the subjects really don’t interest me (how long have you gone without sleeping, what can’t you say no to, etc.) But sometimes I get a theme that does interest me, and I add it to my list of “BLOG IDEAS” and then….I don’t write about it. Heh….

Here is a topic I did like though, and I’ve been thinking on it for a few days….What are three things you can do to be a better friend to the people in your life?

Hmmm…..thought provoking! So, as you read my answer to this question, realize it means my dear friends, my boyfriend, and my family, especially my brothers. I feel they all fit into the friend group.

1. Spend more time with them. Now, I’m not saying that I’m so entertaining and wonderful that everyone deserves more of my time (although that HAS been said to me.) I need to cultivate and strengthen my relationships.; I need to have face-to-face time with people I care about. I need to try new things and be creative with people that I like to be with. These are people that I choose to have in my life, so I need interact with them more than I do.

I tend to cancel a lot and procrastinate, and I’m actually surprised that my dear friends are still willing to put up with me and want to spend time with me. Although I have gotten off the couch and ventured outside with them a lot more in the last 6 months. And I’m realizing how much I love it, and I love them. Being with my friends helps me be more ME, and helps me de-stress and laugh and just enjoy….everything. It also gives me an excuse to dress up in a cute outfit. I see nothing wrong with getting pretty for my friends! It’s just like a date!

Also, I think it’s important for anyone in an intimate relationship to have relationships outside of the home. I believe it helps both partners to grow and expand, and to bring something back home. It’s generally impossible to get all you need from just one person, which is why we have partners and friends in the first place! Besides, my lovely boo really isn’t into getting a cosmo with me after the latest Sex and the City movie, and that’s okay! We have fun together, and we have fun without each other, and it works pretty well.

2. I can support their strengths and interests. I obviously choose my friends because something about them attracts me. And while all of my friends are caring, loving people, I don’t know if there is a major “theme” that connects them all. They are all unique in their own way.

So if they have something new to try, or some creative outlet, I want to be able to say “Yes, do it! You are awesome!” And I would also love to be able to point out their individuality that will make them good at whatever they try.; If she wants to make jewelry, then I know that she can because she is unique and stylish and creative. If she want to be a mommy, I know she can because she is loving and caring and giving; If she want to win the lottery and buy me things, I know she can because she is lucky and selfless. If she want to write a book, I know she can because she’s innovative and funny and determined. If she wants to try burlesque, I know she can because she is quirky and daring and sexy.

3. Be honest with them. This one is hard for me. I don’t lie, but I don’t always say what I’m truly thinking or feeling, so I hold back my honest opinion, and this isn’t fair to anyone. I love my friends, and who they are, and I respect them. I know they feel the same for me. So if I ask them honestly about my new outfit, or if I should take the job, or if I need therapy, I really do expect them to be honest with me. Why ask if I don’t want their opinion? Why be friends with them if I don’t care about who they are? Why interject myself into their lives if I don’t believe they want the very best for me? So, saying that, I need to do the exact thing for them.

And I am not saying that I can just be mean and yell out every thought “That hair makes you look like a gremlin, and not the cute one.” No, maybe better to say “I don’t think that haircut flatters your beautiful face.” And isn’t that certainly better than lying and saying “Oh yes, it’s a wonderful cut, you look gorgeous!” I can be honest, my friends will still love me and respect me, and perhaps I can actually be someone they can count on and rely on to be honest with them.

I think we care so much about people that we just want to say whatever will make them happy, and although it comes from love, this really isn’t the way to support someone or to be a friend. This will be the hardest for me, not because I don’t want to do it for my friends, it’s just hard for me not to hold things in. And it’s not as if my friends are constantly in situations where I need to be more honest than I would prefer, but occasionally situations do come up.

I’m not real happy about the title of this post, but they can’t all be winners.

I’m posting a link to Pink’s “F**kin’ Perfect” just because it’s true for my loves, you are perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
F**kin’ perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You’re f**kin’ perfect to me


About erin711

It's a mess of a blog about being plus-size, loving clothes, having self-esteem issues, laughing way too much, and my daily interactions with the world around me. Stats - 37, live in Seattle with my boyfriend and 2 dogs.....and I'm funny sometimes

8 responses »

  1. Boo Boo;

    You have thought me so much about being a true friend, about true love and loyalty. I don’t think any of us just “put up with you”, we love you and we know how much you enrich our lives.

    To me you were a very wonderful unexpected gift…I am lucky to have you in my life and to be able to call you friend.

    Love you always,


  2. Hey… I didn’t think I’d told anyone about my burlesque dream….?

    Hey… bravo! And thank you. I would write more, because I love and adore you (and miss you and will never let go of the notion that we’ll someday hang out… I don’t think I’ve ever had a cosmo…)– but I have a ton of chores & other writing to put aside as well due to the call of the most fabulous birthday cake yet (purple, 3-tiered sweet 16 cake for a friend’s daughter)! And thanks for supporting me!

    Love is all.


  3. you are the f**ckin’ perfect one….and quite the snappy dresser . When I think of you, my minds eye still sees you as that high school girlie with your boots and skirts before anyone else was doing it. So cool. It is your youness that makes being your friend a gift.

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