I started this blog for a few different reasons. I read a lot of different blogs, and most of them are written by big beautiful women who love fashion and their bodies. I thought “I could do that.” I also wanted some sort of outlet, some way to organize my thoughts and opinions. I also thought that being committed to a blog might help me grow and be more creative.
I had a specific theme in mind when I started this blog, but it’s kind of went off track. But maybe that’s okay. Maybe if I write more, I’ll figure out what exactly I want this blog to be about. Maybe it’s not about anything in particular, and that would be okay too. Just my ponderings and wanderings and likings, I’m okay with that.
I had intended to take photos of me and my various outfits, and I still haven’t done this. I would like to do this, something is holding me back. I am shy about asking people to take pictures of me, for one. I could manage to do it myself, maybe….And perhaps, I’m a little worried about how the pictures will turn out. I get dressed everyday thinking “this is cute!” then I look in the mirror and it’s not quite the outcome I wanted. What if that happens with the pictures too? Damn! But…what if by taking more pictures of myself, I can get more accustomed to what my body actually looks like and I can be happier with who I am? Maybe taking pictures will actually have a good outcome and will be the best thing I can do with this blog.
My self-image is really rather jumbled in my head. Sometimes it’s great, other times it’s a horrible mess. I must say it’s better than it was 5 or 10 years ago, but not where it should be. And it’s so easy to have it change just from seeing a picture or a reflection. So maybe I need to be more comfortable with “Erin in the pictures.”
Eh, who knows. I’ll try to write more often and figure out some sort of direction.