See all my pretty pills that I take? Know why I take them? Mostly to be healthy and to not get sick.
That’s why I do most things really, to avoid bad consequences.
I fold the laundry (eventually) so that I’m not stuck wearing something too small or dirty for the day.
I empty the dishwasher (eventually) so that I can load it again so I don’t have to hand wash every dish and utensil when I want to eat.
I take my pills so that I can avoid possible health risks. I take Vitamin D, fish oil, magnesium, some funky pills from my acupuncturist, fiber, and my metformin. The metformin isn’t actually preventative though, it helps with my mock PCOS and has actually helped me, namely in clearing up my skin!!
You are probably asking why I’m telling you about my pill situation, and don’t worry, I’ll explain. Can I just also add that taking that many pills throughout the day is NOT easy for me? I’ve always had trouble swallowing pills, I have some sort of mental block. I usually have to hold them in my mouth for a while, tilt my head back, then psych myself into swallowing. 80% of the time there is no problem. The other 20% can be quite yucky. I have to try to be quick with the ones that dissolve too quickly.
AnyWHOO…..so I take this pills to be healthy, and yet I don’t do the most important things to be healthy. It’s like if I do something half-assed at least I’ll get half-ass credit? I don’t exercise, I don’t eat all that great, I procrastinate and stress myself out….I put off being healthy. And what’s the point of taking pills to be healthy when I could avoid a whole bunch of trouble in the future if I would just get off my butt?
I don’t like taking pills. I don’t want to get diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, high cholesterol….I don’t want to have to take pills to deal with any issues I might have. The metformin is MORE than enough actual medicine. I am 36, and I am only pushing myself towards illnesses by doing (or not doing) what I’m doing.
I’m lazy, I admit it. I don’t like exercise. It makes me tired and wears me out, and I hardly ever get to feel those talked about endorphins. And yet, I know, I KNOW, that I need to do it. I don’t like going to work but I do it. I don’t like paying my bills, but I do it. I don’t like doing….well, lots of other things, I just can’t remember them all now. The point is I do what I need to do (for the most par.) I like to avoid unnecessary and painful situations, so why the firetruck can’t I get my body to the gym?
Argh…..I’m working on it. I am, I have mental fights with myself all the time. The body and the mind do not work well together. They are like siblings that won’t share and only like each other once they both mature.
Hmm, writing this post actually helped me clear my head a bit, helped me put things in a bit of perspective. So maybe the blog is helping.