Category Archives: Overweight

It’s a deer and sunny day


Happy St Patrick’s Day!  (a day late.) I don’t wear green on St Patrick’s day.  My mom always said that everyone who isn’t Irish should wear green because they want to be Irish, and so those of us who are Irish, don’t need to wear it.  You argue with my mom about it, if you want.


Shirt – Thrifted (forgot to look at label)/camisole, jeans – Torrid/boots – Catherines/necklace – SheInside

So, I have boots that fit!  But….they sadly sag during the day and I get baggy ankles.  and this happens with all of my boots.  I guess I should be happy that I can find boots that fit my fat calves, but it’s annoying to have to pull them up like socks all day long.  I guess I could tape rulers inside of them, total DIY experiment, but I’m guessing that would be uncomfortable and also not very effective.  Anyone have any suggestions for sagging boots?

look at the difference from picture 1 to picture 2.  I had to pull up the stupid boots like socks.  POOR ME


So, I could be talking about all kinds of stuff going on with me, like why I’ve stopped my healthy eating plan even though it was effective, why I feel the need to sabotage everything I do, why I feel lazy all the time, how I feel about losing a friend my own age, how it feels to be approaching my 40th birthday…but I’m not ready to write about any of that.


So instead, I will write about…..Target!  Yes, that lovely store where you go for one item and come out with 10 more items and $200 poorer.  Most of you probably don’t know what Target is currently up to, I’m not talking about the photoshopping incident, or the manatee incident, or even the pregnant = fat incident. (Wait, why do I shop at Target?) No, I’m talking about the general disappearance of all plus-size clothes in all Targets.

In early January, most Targets in the US cleared out their entire plus-size section.  Some had clearance items, some moved maternity into, some just stayed empty.  Some of the stores had signs up saying “Women’s Plus: Countdown to new.  Women’s Plus collection arriving early February.”  And that was it.


As time passed with nothing appearing in the stores, shoppers would ask sales associates who would say “it’s coming.”  Facebook questions would all get generic answers telling people that the items were coming, and to shop online in the meantime.  Online shopping isn’t convenient for everyone.  Every garment fits differently, sometimes the fabric isn’t what you want, etc.  Also, you have to pay to ship items back, so it’s not very cost-effective.

So, it’s now the middle of March, and there are still no plus-size clothes in the Target stores, and no actual answers or responses from Target, other than “It’s coming.”

Now, the main reason that this irks me is that Target would never consider clearing out any other section and telling shoppers to wait for new items.  Straight sizes, men’s, children’s, even maternity – they would never just empty the entire section and leave nothing there and tell shoppers to be patient.  But if you are a fatty, then it shouldn’t matter, and you should just shop online and never show your face again, apparently.

I realize Target isn’t the best quality, but they were reasonable priced and were slowly getting some really cute items in plus-size.  Although, whenever they have one of their special designers, they never have any of those designs in plus-size either.  I just find this whole incident to be insulting and frustrating.  It’s hard to find cute plus-size clothes that I can also actually afford.

There is a Facebook group you can check out if you are also frustrated by all of this.  I’m sure it’s not a big deal to a lot people, especially if you don’t have to shop in plus-size sections or clothes.  But when you are constantly judged because of your weight and trying to have a healthy image about yourself, appearance does matter, and clothes contribute to how you portray yourselves to others and how they perceive you.


And this look on my face?  I’m unhappy with how the pictures turned out.  Apparently shooting through a dirty window with chocolate smeared on my phone screen was not the way to go?



Never too late


Well, you are in for a treat, a treat I say!

Working on my awkward smile, and now I have some crazy expressions.

1 laughing again Tunic – Essentials by Milano (Consignment) / Boots – thrifted / Leggings, bracelets – Torrid / Necklace – Consignment

See, I told you.  Apparently I was just ecstatic to be taking these photos.

1 silly

Actually, I was in a pretty good mood.  I had an appointment with my weight loss doctor, and he was very supportive and inspiring.  We talked about my yo-yo self-esteem.  When I get in one of my funks, and start feeling like crap, that just causes me to feel like crap.  I feel like crap because I feel like crap!  Crazy, yes?

1 one hip cute  I’ve been able talk myself out these moods before, but lately it’s been a bit harder.  So we decided my new mantra will be “I am powerful.”  While we were talking, I was actually able to say that, and he said my face just lit up.  It was a really good feeling.  I also get the feeling that you might also be powerful.  Enough about you, back to me.

1 laughing

1 hips ok The only thing that ever gets in my way, or discourages me, or sabotages me is myself.  And that’s it, every single time.  I need to get out of my own head, and I need to be more powerful than what I tell myself I am.

1 hips cute 1 head cocky I can be different than I allow myself to be.  I just have to do it.  I am more than a size or weight or age or single belief.  One of my favorite quotes is “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”  I have to believe that.

1 hands down ok 1 smileOOOh, I went running last night too.  Well, run/walk.  But I think I am actually seeing a bit of improvement.  I’m nowhere near running a 5K, can’t even manage one mile yet, but it’s on the horizon!.

1 jewelry And are you just LOVING the expressions in today’s photos?  So goofy!

Trend yourself


I’ve worn this dress in a previous post, it’s my 1970’s and/or school marm dress.

I should have taken a better picture of the actual design.


Dress – Torrid / Belt – Target / Boots, leggings, fur collar – Lane Bryant

I am aware of the double chin, thank you very much.  While experimenting with a new place to take the pics, I’ve also been inspired to try new “poses.”  And here is photographic evidence of how truly awkward I am!


I like this location, the only problem is getting home before it’s completely dark.  I don’t photograph well with a flash, my eyes get much too red.  Also, the porch light is right on the edge of these pics, so there is always interference from that.  Perhaps I can just get permission to leave work early for the next few months to take pictures?


I LOVE this collar.  This was me at work all day.  I just realized that I’m also following the oxblood trend!  Let me explain how trends and I work together – we don’t.  If I happen to be following any current trend, it’s totally a fluke.  If I like something, I like it because of what it is, not because it’s a trend.  If it happens to be a trend, ok, that’s fine, but I’m going to wear what I like when I want.

For example, I love all the animal prints that are so hot right now.  And I will get some of them because I just like them.  And I’ll keep wearing them after they aren’t trendy.  I love it when an item or look that I adore is popular so I have more chances to adopt it and find it, but not so worried if it’s trendy or not.  Most likely why I’ll never be a famous anything.


In fact, I’ll usually wear something that was trendy a few years ago just to prove a point.  What that point might be, I’m not sure.  But I’m happy with my choices.



It was just a fluke that this collar happened to be oxblood, which is all over the place lately.  And I adore that color, so I’ll try snatch up all the cheapy items in this color as I can.  And I’ll wear them FOR YEARS.  Years, I tell you!

I call this pose “About to fall over.”  You like?


Too lazy to title this


I’m lazy.  I admit it.

I didn’t even want to do this post because I’m lazy.

Actually, I mostly didn’t want to write it because I do NOT like these pictures.  It’s dark when I get home now, and I’m still not ok with the location.  I think I need to go back to the bathroom at work for photos.

Dress, leggings, hair pin – Torrid / Boots, belt – Lane Bryant / Necklace – random store in Snohomish

And I have a weird expression in every single picture.  It’s really not how I normally look.  OR IS IT?

Anyway, back to me being lazy.

I have 4 bags of clothes to take the consignment shop, but I’m too lazy to iron them all.  I did go to the consignment shop this weekend, and almost didn’t take ANY of the bags, because I’m lazy.  But I managed to get one bag ready, and actually ironed about 4 things.  Why not do all of it?  LAZY.  Even though I KNEW I was going,  I almost didn’t take the bag that was actually ready.

Sweater – Goodwill (not sure what brand it is)

Oh, and this sweater? Love this sweater, it’s my Freddie Krueger sweater.  And I’ve worn it numerous times but it’s never made it into this blog because the pictures always look really weird.  And I’ve been too lazy to actually style it correctly.

My necklace – isn’t it pretty?  It was a birthday present from Steven.

My hairpin.  I used to wear cute stuff in my hair all the time, but I’ve gotten TOO LAZY to do it lately.  And it’s all jumbled mess in the bedroom too, because I’m too lazy to sort it all out and find anything that will actually complement my outfits.

Yesterday was Veteran’s day, and I had the day off of work.  I spent it doing laundry and dealing with a horrendous migraine.  Why did I spend all day doing laundry?  Because we had no clean clothes, because I’ve been too lazy to do a load a laundry.

Hey look, I finally finished my bracelet!!  It’s the byzantine design.

Why did it take so long, you ask?  Well, I was too lazy to get the tools I needed to finish it, and then once I actually had them, too lazy to just finish the darn thing.  But now it’s done, and it’s pretty!

I have a gazillion to-do lists started, and I’m just too darn lazy to get them finished.  I have lost any sort of momentum I might have ever had in life.

I also want to write a post about the holidays, and how I feel about them, but…ha, you already know.  I’m lazy!

Oh, I did get partnered up for the Christmas Swop!  Yay!  And I SHOULD have done the shopping for it this past 3-day weekend, but I was too lazy to it!  I get to send to Juanita Tortilla!  So much fun!  And I get to receive from Georgina at pretty when you smile.  Love that blog name.  I’ll post more when it’s all started.

Here’s what I’m currently reading.

I absolutely adore Freddie Mercury and Queen.  I went to see Hungarian Rhapsody last month with my brother Joe, and it’s amazing how much of a performer he truly was.  It’s a film about Queen performing a concert in Budapest.  As soon as Freddie was on stage it was remarkable.  And the whole band performed like magic.  So sad I never got to see them actually perform.  This book makes me sad, but that’s ok.  I wish it was actually better written.  It’s kind of choppy and jumps all over the place, but it has lots of great info and some fabulous photos.

And I know I had more lazy incidences, but I can’t remember them.  I should have written them down.

An extra coating please and thank you


Oh so very happy with the election results….Obama, Elizabeth Warren, Ref 74 here in Washington State.  YAY!!!

Well, onto other issues, namely my outfit!

Boots – Lane Bryant / Leggings – Torrid / Shirt – Mossimo (via Consignment Shop) / Coat – Style&Co (via Consignment)

Back in the day, I SO wanted a coat like this.  I mean, I really really wanted it, seemed like every girl I went to school with had something similar.  But I had my coat for the year, and couldn’t really justify asking my parents for a new one.  My parents worked hard, and made sure we wore trendy stuff as much as possible, and made sure we were able to pick out what we wanted whenever possible.  So I certainly was never lacking or felt like I didn’t measure up.  But I never did get my coat.  Of course, I never even mentioned it to my parents, I would have felt guilty!

Amazing how getting something you wanted 25 years ago can STILL make you happy.


And this tunic/dress – this thing did not fit me very well a few months ago.  It was a bit too tight and would constantly ride up on me, and would be stretched in the chestal area and so I just couldn’t wear it.  And now look!!  Woohoo!!

Had another monthly check-in at Swedish Weight Loss services today, and my total weight loss is 26.3 so far, which was a major shock.  That’s 7 pounds since the last check-in.  Mostly surprised because I got sick last month and gained some weight back, then had to lose it again, and it just seems like the weight loss is slower.  But it was an awesome surprise, and it’s nice when clothes fit me better.

I’m also feeling better. I’m not so sluggish throughout the day and I have a bit more energy.  I still can’t really tell that I’ve lost weight, but I’m finally getting some clothes that fit differently.  I’m very proud of myself for not giving up, and even though I still make bad choices sometimes, it’s not every day, and for the most part, I’m consistent.

If any foolio tries to tell you that weight loss is easy, they are full of it.  Don’t believe them.  It sucks.  It’s hard and makes you feel like crap, and you doubt yourself and feel ugly and worthless and that you can’t accomplish anything.  You can go from feeling elated to being depressed in just a few moments.  That’s why loving yourself ALL THE TIME is important.  Self-esteem is important in every aspect of your life, whether you are trying to lose weight or be creative or just trying to get through the day-to-day of your life.  Love yourself, and don’t doubt your abilities.

Be healthy, be happy

Can we give a shoutout to the consignment stores?  I love Two Big Blondes and for these reasons – they sell plus size, they change their stock constantly, and they aren’t rude to customers.  I have a consignment store in my neighborhood, much closer than 2BB, but I never go there because I get treated so poorly.  Their plus-size selection is one rack, and they do NOT like to help the bigger customers (I’m talking to you Funky Janes!!!)

And the other consignment stores in the neighborhood are ok, but again, their selection is way too small, it’s not even worth it.  They are much more polite though.  In fact, when I actually bought an item at this consignment store, the clerk said “Oh, I hope that you’ll be back, especially now that you found ‘your section’ ”  These last 2 words were said in a stage whisper.  I am assuming she meant the not so popular plus-sizes.  I just laughed, while my mom was insulted for me.  The woman didn’t know any better, she thought she was being polite.

Funny story about the coat – I went to a “bag sale” at 2BB.  Have you ever done this?  I was lucky to get out with all of my fingers.  You pay $5 for a garbage bag, and whatever you can put into it, you keep.  The women there are crazy!  I had no time to actually look at sizes or try things on, so I just grabbed stuff as I saw it.  I’m sure if there had been curtains hanging there, I would have ended up with those.  I actually got some great stuff for not really knowing what I was grabbing, this coat being one such item.

Me trying to be cute – does NOT come across in this goofy picture

So dated


Dress – Angie (from consignment) / Boots, leggings – Lane Bryant / Flower pin – made by my friend Brenna

This dress reminds me of something Winona Ryder would have worn in the 90s.  All I needed to complete the look – a black choker necklace, hair wraps, and my black Doc Martens.  (And do you think I could actually find a decent picture of her wearing anything similar?  Apparently I have no real concept of 90s fashion…I TOLD you I was numb during the 90s.)  BUT after writing this post, I saw this blog post and it totally shows what I’m talking about!!  VINDICATED

Not what I was going for, meh

This is another find at the consignment shop, Two Big Blondes.  Brand name is Angie, which I know absolutely nothing about, except that you can’t even access their website unless you are a current customer.  Apparently I totally scored on this dress.

I totally love the pattern and draw string neckline.  The tiny little silver parts on the end of the ties jingle all day long, so I couldn’t sneak up at anyone at work if I wanted to. I don’t sneak up on people at work, but it’s nice to have the option.

And these boots!!!  They fit!  And you are saying “Of course they fit, why would you buy items that don’t fit?”  Well, Miss Attitude, if you must know – months ago I ordered a bunch of boots from Lane Bryant. I was too lazy to go shopping physically, and even though I hate online shopping, I figured I could return whatever didn’t fit.  All 3 pairs didn’t fit, but it took me another 2 months to get ready to return them. I decided to return these ones, and keep the other ones, because I could use the Boot Bands on those.  I tried these on one last time though, and they zipped further than they had before, so I said “F*ck it, I’ll keep them.”  And today they zipped all the way up!

It’s exciting!  It’s seriously hard to find wide calf boots that fit, are cute, and not totally expensive.  It has made me sad on numerous occasions.

Also, in this previous post, I tried to talk about promoting a healthy love of one’s self, while also justifying losing weight.  I’m not sure I did a good job of it.  WORDS ARE HARD.  But the gorgeous gal over at French Toast is Vegan totally nailed it in this post.

Bows and bows


Trench – Originally Old Navy, bought at Consignment / Shirt – Forever 21 / Skirt, leggings – Lane Bryant / Shoes – Payless / Beads – Party City

I love this trench.  I saw it at Old Navy a few years ago but never got a chance to buy it.  A few months ago, I saw it at a consignment shop and almost squealed out loud.  It’s probably one size too small, I can’t quite button it, but I love it anyway.  I bought it at Two Big Blondes Consignment.  If you are in the Seattle area and wear plus-size, check it out.  They have great staff, and a huge selection that is constantly changing.  They also have a great consignment program, and wonderful sales.  I have never gone there without buying stuff and being overly excited about my purchases.

I think I need to start shopping more at Forever 21 and less at Lane Bryant.  I have gotten great pieces at LB, but their prices are just crazy and the majority of their items are so boring anymore.  I can’t justify paying $40 for a plain t-shirt.  Forever 21 has some cute stuff, besides having a stupid name.  Of course, you have to do online shopping, the in-store experience sucks like crazy.

I like this outfit, it has a bit of an 80’s vibe.  I’m a total 80’s child.  Just for a guide, I started high school, 9th grade, in the fall of 1988, graduated in 1992.  So I truly was a child in the 1980s.  I loved everything about that decade – the music, the movies, the clothing, the humor, the attitudes….I didn’t do so well in the 90s.  Maybe it was graduating and trying to figure out what to do with my life, maybe it was meeting my ex-husband and that whole experience, but I really can barely recall the last half of the 90s.  Crazy, huh?

So, I made it out the 90s, got divorced, got a better job, and hooked up with a much better man.  The first part of the 2000s were kind of chaotic.  I feel like I’m finally getting in a good groove in this decade.  Hey, it only took me 25 years to get back on track!